Old Adventures, New Livelihoods

Posted by Dianne on May 11, 2017 in 2017,

New theme layout! Still trying to figure out what fits.

Also wanted to mention that I made a studyblr! One of these days I'll make a post on the nuances of this community, it's been a bit odd with the subtle undertones and implications. But for now I'm very much enjoying visual inspirations streamlined in one blog.

Speaking of new beginnings, I did fill out all the commencement details as soon as I could, but for some reason I procrastinated on ordering my college stole. For some reason the college stole itself made everything more real. Cemented my thoughts in the fact that I've got just a little over a month to go.

This is one of the smaller posts. The ones that pass through RSS feeds without any pictures. This is the soundless type, the one that glosses over feelings and emotions while at the same time trying to find a way to address them.

How do you explain to the world that you'll be gone from its campus? That your world, for the last four years, has been your university, and now that's leaving? They ask about the next steps when you don't really know what those steps are. There's a loose outline, something you tell everyone to fend them off. You don't really know what's immediately next. You have a semblance of a plan, but you won't find out if it's working out for you until you get there.

This summer, I'll be back home. Trying to understand myself within the context of a strained family dynamic. Underlying issues, of course. Every family's like that. Self-reflection? That's definitely mandatory for a post-graduation existential crisis. What am I through the intersections of life, of love, of things adored and things abandoned? I have to find that out.

There are more tangible goals. Things that help tuck my life back in order. Learning Python, perhaps. Even another language. If I could make a list, it'd be:

• Learn python (sometime within the next year)
• Learn to drive (due date: this summer)
• Volunteer and/or get a job (around fall??)
• Study languages, reinforce Spanish
• catch up on scrapbooking (major summer goal to at least finish 2016 and print out all of 2017)
• organize my bedroom/belongings
• reading! writing! on that note, figure out the scheduling for what I want to do with personal works. Do a lot of reading for writers, writing for reading, etc

Around the beginning of next year, I'd like to delve into volunteering again and maybe even grant writing--for the most part, my immediate future will be me returning to my hobbies and picking up various skillsets. 

Of course I'm nervous. Lots of people are nervous. Of disappointing themselves, other people, the list goes on. That uncertainty is such a heavy part of the transition, and I hope I can tackle it as soon as possible. Although I know I've got a long way to go.

Keep going.

Yours Sincerely,

Dianne